Arnold's Night Before Christmas
by Just4FunFiction
Summary: A parody of Clement Clarke Moore's famous poem, featuring our favourite football-head.


'Twas the Night Before Christmas in the Sunset Arms

Not a sound could be heard, so no need for alarms

All the boarders slept soundly, wrapped up in bed

Phil and Gertie had no need to stay up instead

So all in the Boarding house were happily dreaming

Even Oskar, no doubt greedily scheming

But one resident couldn't sleep quite so easy

Following from a day with some hurtful teasing

The boy with the football-shaped head still believed

In old Jolly Saint Nick and what he achieved

But his friends weren't so faithful, and thought it a joke

Even Gerald, his best friend, agreed when he spoke,

"Arnold, my man, Santa Claus isn't real"

No attention being paid to how he should feel

Hurt by the laughter, with a turn, Arnold ran

With the speed that only his legs can

* * *

So, throughout the day, this troubled his mind

While the gesture that Gerald had made was unkind,

It made Arnold wonder if there was no truth

To the tale he had heard throughout his youth

While his grampa assured him that the big man was real,

Even saying he met him, Arnold did not feel

Assured by the tale, so even as he slept

Deep in his mind, the question was kept

But that was put on hold when his eyes opened wide

He heard a bump downstairs- was someone inside?

Slowly, he stood and crept down the stairs,

Careful not to give any of the boarders some scares

As he neared the living room, a groan could be heard

Had his grampa gotten up without even a word?

He rounded the corner, and reaching the doorway

He looked in and gasped, not knowing what to say

* * *

Crouched down by the tree was a man in a suit

That was red and white and had a matching hat to boot

His beard was white and long on his chin

His belly was large, hardly being held in

He went by many names all over the planet

And his tale had been told- we all understand it

Yes, Santa Claus himself was there by his tree

Arnold's faith was reassured, his heart filled with glee

As he put down the presents he kept in his sack

He jolted upwards, feeling pain in his back

Arnold felt a need to help, so without hesitation

He walked up to Santa to ask him a question

"Erm, sir?" He asked. "Forgive my plight,

But I heard you in pain. Are you feeling alright?"

"Oh, Arnold! Sorry for waking you from your slumber

Head on back to bed, I can manage this lumber"

* * *

Undeterred to help, he asked him again.

"Do you want some help?" Santa couldn't complain.

"Well, my back is aching a little, I suppose.

If you wish, you can help, but I will not impose."

Arnold helped without delay, putting presents on the ground

Help from such a kind boy, to Santa it did astound

As the sacks contents emptied, Santa gave him his thanks.

"My dear boy, if only more like you were in my ranks."

Santa started to climb the chimney, but gave a slip

With a grunt, he started to rub at his hip.

Arnold, concerned, helped him up, and would then say,

"You can use my skylight to get up to your sleigh"

So, the pair went up steps, stopping when there was a shout

"Is that you, Arnold?" Phil asked. "Why are you up and about?"

"I just needed to use the bathroom," Arnold lied

"Eh, sure go ahead," Phil called back, satisfied

* * *

They quickly reached the roof, where Arnold widened his eyes

For up on the roof was another surprise

All eight reindeer, bar Rudolph, were in front of the sleigh

Santa smiled at his innocence and knew what to say

"Don't be shy," Santa told him, gesturing to approach them

"They don't bite, they're kind as long as you respect them"

Hesitantly, Arnold walked up to the herd

Gently, he stroked them, unable to say a word

They responded positively to the young boy's affection

Responding in kind, nuzzling him without rejection

He laughed as it tickled him. "This is amazing!"

Santa chuckled. "Yes, they do love getting praising.

Now, forgive me, Arnold, but I need to depart."

Arnold nodded, understanding, but he felt a heavy heart

Santa saw this and smiled, so he had an idea

"Tell you what, Arnold. Do you think you could help me this year?"

* * *

Arnold blinked in shock. "A-are you serious, sir?"

Santa nodded. "With my back pain, it would help if you were

To join me tonight on my annual delivery

Not to mention your indisputable reliability."

It was true- Arnold helped people all year long

Not on a scale like this, but Arnold went along.

"I would be honoured," he answered, grinning wide

"Thank you so much, dear boy. Hop on, and let's ride!"

So, Arnold climbed into the magic sleigh

"Care to start our journey? You know what to say."

"Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen!

On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donner and Blitzen!"

The reindeer took off, carrying the sleigh

The sight below was amazing, Arnold didn't know what to say!

Seeing Hillwood from on high made him feel alive

It was a dream come true- his faith could survive

* * *

So, Arnold helped Santa to deliver the gifts

Putting them under the trees, he and Santa took shifts

From house to house, they travelled through the night

Completing work swiftly to remain out of sight

As the night travelled on, they soon reached a place

That Arnold recognised, but more so, the inhabitants face

As they landed on the roof of his school friend Helga's building

Santa, rather than presents, had some coal he was wielding

Arnold asked, "isn't Helga getting a present?"

"Sadly, she made my naughty list," Santa said with lament.

"That can't be right! Helga has done so much this year

She's helped me oh so much- I enjoy having her near!

I know that she puts up a front as a bully,

But that isn't the real her! You have to believe me!

I owe Helga so much, so sir, I implore you-

Please change your mind- you must know that it's true!"

* * *

Santa smiled at Arnold. "You're such a kind boy.

She is lucky to know you, you bring her such joy."

Arnold blushed. "Actually, that's what she brings me."

A loud chuckle escaped Santa's lips. "Oh, I see."

So, he swapped the coal for some gifts from his sack

And he went down the chimney, placed them inside, and came back.

The two continued their journey throughout the night

As Arnold grew tired, the end was in sight

They travelled from country to country worldwide

Arnold saw Rome, Paris, Tokyo and more on his ride

Eventually, after all the gifts were delivered,

They returned to Hillwood, while Arnold shivered.

"Cold, are we?" Santa chuckled. "Well, you're home once again.

Thank you so much for helping, this night I'll retain

As a memory forever. Now, go and get some rest

For, Christmas is tomorrow, so sleep, I would suggest."

* * *

"I'm glad I could help you," Arnold said, still full of joy.

"My dear Arnold, you truly are a special boy."

Arnold gave him a hug, and the reindeer as well,

Before going inside, cold from the snow that fell.

He waved as the sleigh took off once again

No one would believe this story, so he chose to refrain

Why tell them, if keeping it to himself was more special?

He yawned. Sleep really did seem essential.

As he lay down and shut his eyes, he dreamed of what would come.

All the while, Santa flew, letting out a hum.

While he neared the North Pole, he looked to his right

And to his surprise, a present was in sight.

Picking it up, he looked at the ticket

"To Santa, from Arnold" he said as he read it

He smiled to himself, his heart's warmth grew

"Merry Christmas Arnold," he looked up, "and to all of you too."


End file.
